Geeks are "in" but can we please not resort to Gleeks?

I have only seen about four episodes of this baffling pop-culture phenomenon "Glee", and each time I inexplicably decide to endure an episode, I think "Maybe it's not as bad as I remember" and each time it's progressively worse. At first I understood the appeal, it's fun seeing two kids walking through the halls of high school and suddenly burst into a duet of "The Boy is Mine", but after the initial excitement of thinking "I used to hear this song on TRL" wears off, you realize it's not even a well staged musical number. Now maybe I've seen the wrong 4 episodes, but in order for the show to get me to sit down with a full episode again, there would either have to be a PJ Harvey tribute episode, or have a character become possessed by a demon that doesn't sing and instead emanates noise music. My distaste for this show has compelled me to make a list of the reasons why.

• Their gay angle: I guess this show touts itself as breaking new ground in the realm of tolerance and social acceptance, but to me this show is to any progressive gay movement what Paris Hilton is to feminism. Perhaps the simple act of showing a gay character on TV would have been a statement in the 80's but in a post Will & Grace world we are used to seeing gay characters on TV. That being said, an effeminate, stereotypical gay teenager in the glee club is about as progressive as Lance Bass starring in a show about dancers. Now I won't make any personal jabs at Chris Colfer, Glee's resident homosexual, as he very well may be a perfectly nice young man, however his acting is in the public eye and therefore up for debate. This is one of those shows in which you can tell that the actors are basically playing themselves, so I ask this; Does Chris Colfer always have a face like he just smelled poop, or is that just his character, Kurt? But I digress, as acting is further on down the list. One of the episodes I watched was the Lady Gaga tribute episode in which the father of Colfer's character decides to move in with the mother of the glee club's resident jock, Finn. This leads to some discomfort on the jock's part, as Kurt has always had a bit of a crush on Finn (because gay men, of course, cannot contain their sexuality around heterosexual jocks, why else would homophobia exist?).  Finn's discomfort is only fed by Kurt's decision to make the whole thing like some kind of swanky swinger set up. Kurt plays up his "gayness" trying to confer with Finn about decorating themes, and talking about ways to integrate their styles together, while anybody with any ability to read subtext clearly sees Kurt trying to jump this almost-step-brother's bones. This leads Finn to feel even more awkward lashing out at Kurt asking why he can't just be normal. As a gay man, I understand Finn's discomfort and anger at having to be roommates with someone who is subtly trying to pressure him into something he really has no interest in, whether that be sex or a decor theme. Kurt's behavior in this instance isn't integrating but alienating, as he makes it clear he plans to exert some kind of influence on Finn. Finn rejects Kurt at first, but by the end of the episode, he decides to show Kurt acceptance by putting on a red vinyl dress and marching down the school halls in it (see below. Also, how are we to believe he got those things on his face? Does any high school jock even know what spirit gum is?)

I understand they're trying to show acceptance, but I can only imagine how many ignorant straight teenagers saw this and thought "Well, if I have to put on a dress to be friends with a faggot, fuck that! I'll just keep beating them up because if this taught me anything it's that gay men want to convert me." Yes, Finn needs to be open minded about Kurt's lifestyle, but Kurt also needs to be understanding of his new roommate's preferences. Be that sexually or decor-thematically.  Clearly neither me nor my boyfriend are homophobic, but seeing this episode made me completely infuriated because Kurt WAS being totally weird about the situation and Finn DID have a right to be uncomfortable moving in with a gay classmate who isn't shy about trying to get him in the sack. Sure he shouldn't yell "Faggot" at him, but the situation is more complex than "Kurt is right, and you need to get over your homophobia." Someone needs to explain to Kurt that self expression is great, and important, but you need to respect the needs of others at the same time. I can't help but compare Kurt to Marshall on The United States of Tara. Another gay teen on TV who is intelligent, cultured, and sees the gay clique at his school as shallow and single minded. Marshall thinks for himself, and allows himself to be ruled by his intelligence and not his sexuality. Sure, he makes mistakes as he explores his sexuality, but ultimately he doesn't let it define him, and is unexpected as a gay teen on TV. All I can think is that if Kurt is the role model gay teenagers are looking up to, I feel sad. Not that when I was a teenager it was any better, Queer as Folk and Will and Grace both did little for breaking down gay stereotypes (which we can cover in a later blog post), but I expected that by 2010 there would be more positive, complex, unexpected and groundbreaking gay characters on TV. Good examples of this would be David on Six Feet Under or even Larry on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, whose homosexuality was only featured in two episodes, but HE was a jock AND gay. How scandalous!

• Song choices: They claim that they are educating young kids in music, so if you want to hear the most overplayed songs of the last 30 years made into elevator music versions of their original selves, then go ahead and get the soundtrack. Or get volume 2. Or volume 3. I want to hear more obscure music on here, how about Kate Bush? Or Can (now wouldn't THAT be interesting)? Not that I'd want BETTER music to be butchered, I'm just saying their choices don't go far beyond the Top 40 list.
• Censorship: Among the episodes I watched was the Rocky Horror tribute episode. I don't know what I expected, but having recently re-watched the original film for the first time in years, I remembered how much fun it was and thought I'd give it a chance. We all know The Rocky Horror Show stars a transvestite, and even though John Stamos was willing to do the part (there was even a recording of a demo of  him singing one of Frank'n'Furter's songs that leaked onto the Internet), they gave the role to a female. They explain this away by giving her a throw away speech about how their teacher always tells them they can do whatever they set their mind to, and that she just KNOWS she's got the goods for the role... Though clearly she doesn't have the right "goods". I have to admit, it was quite masterful the way they manage to avoid having a real man in drag AND simultaneously make it a moment of triumph for one of their characters. Bravo censor-friendly writers. Bravo. And while said female is singing "Sweet Transvestite", they change the lyrics from "I'm just a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania" to "I'm just a sweet transvestite from sensational Transylvania." I do not understand what about the word "transsexual" is naughty while singing "transvestite" and an entire song about "heavy petting" entitled "Touch Me" complete with male students doing push ups above their reclined teacher is okay.
• Acting: As I said above, and like many high school dramas, both in TV and movies, this is one of those shows in which you can take for granted that the teenagers are mostly playing themselves. While his acting abilities (and his abs) made him the perfect brain-dead hunk in the "Rocky Horror Glee Show" However, Matthew Morrison's acting as the teacher comes across as a fish out of water gasping for air when he wears his one "I'm thinking/worried/sad/upset/angry" face, not to be confused with his other charming and smiling "Let's all sing a song about it" face.  And then there's whatever is going on in the image below.

Crying is 95% based on how tight you can pull your face in. To quote the great Marty of Showgirls "[He]'s got it!"

And yes, we all love Jane Lynch, and she delivers what she can, but it's barely more than a few minutes an episode (of the ones that I've seen) and the character is so inexplicably spiteful that you can't garnish the balance between understanding and hating a good antagonist. And even though I'm sure they've had episodes where they give you some trite, obvious storyline to gain sympathy for her, like her mother was always really mean or she never learned how to properly tie a girdle or something equally ridiculous, I'd take Lynch on Party Down or in a Christopher Guest film over Sue Sylvester any day.

• Writing: Trite, boring, worn territory, basically "Saved by the Bell" remade with songs, take your pick. So far as I've seen there is not a shred of originally in any of the various story lines they throw at you. You'd think with a melting pot of different cliques in the glee club they could tackle some more innovative story lines than "Popular kids are bullies" or "This isn't a phase, this is who I am!"