Actually... Firefly kinda sucks. Yes, even Mal.

You would be hard pressed to find a bigger Buffy fan than me. I love Buffy, I love Angel, I like Joss Whedon and despite how every other Whedon fan in the 'verse feels, I really hate Firefly.

No, Slayerettes, it's not bullshit, it's true!

The movie that followed the quickly-cancelled TV show was adequate, but still suffers from many of the same problems as the show. "Firefly" takes place centuries in the future, when mankind has left earth in order to "terraform" other planets, making them habitable to humans. There is an oppressive "Alliance" which fought its way to power by crushing the opposing "Independents". The Alliance operates mostly in the richer, more central planets, leaving the outer planets as a kind of "Wild Frontier" where lawlessness and corruption flourishes.

There is an ongoing storyline exploring what the Alliance is, and the lengths that they will go to in order to control people. This is mostly explored through River and Simon Tam, a brother and sister who are both wealthy and highly intelligent. River, a super-mega-genius chose to attend an Alliance run institution, where they held her captive and performed experiments that traumatized her almost beyond repair. As it unfolds, River's story is harrowing, and Summer Glau does a great job depicting the traumatized teenager. I appreciate that the story was told, I like the emphasis on indaviduality over conformism that is

That is about where the good parts of the show end. The overall story and its intentions are compelling and original enough, emphasizing indaviduality over conformism. Other than a few decent episodes, and some good fight scenes in the film, the rest of the story just feels haphazardly thrown together.

The series focuses on Captain Malcom Reynolds, who makes his living shipping cargo across the 'verse. Many of his jobs are illegal (though not all), and as a veteran Independent, he enjoys running under the Alliance's nose. The crew on his ship are a band of inexplicably loveable rogues. There is the mechanic, who is cute and bubbly, the pilot who is wacky and lighthearted, the hired muscle who is dumb and boar-headed, the preacher who is wise and mysterious. The list goes on with occupations randomly paired with quirks that make little or no contextual sense or is just the most simple rendition of a person you could imagine (See: Zoe, Action Figure). These people are outlaws, they are from backwater planets, they frequently visit lawless planets where ruthlessness is the best way to survive. And yet, with one exception (the decidedly dumb guy), the crew is friendly, kind and compassionate. It just makes me think of how a spaceship crew would be depicted in a Disney cartoon. People who would be surly, disagreeable, and selfish in the real world are instead, cute and friendly, each with their individual quirk. Most of these characters are too simplistic and transparent to be taken as seriously on a show intended for adults.

Like I said above, I like Joss Whedon. I like that he has a strong voice in his writing (though I also understand that it can get irritating and alienating for non-fans). However, the quick-witted retorts and roundabout sentence structure that defined Whedon in Buffy, simply doesn't hold up when he's dealing with a group of rough-n'-ready bandits. It's just another way that the show is nonsensically cute.

The main problem with this quirky crew of bandits is that it feels like Joss Whedon made a list of jobs on the ship, and a list of character traits, threw them all into separate hats and just drew the adjectives out to make characters. Malcom and River are the only two characters who really break out of these designated and blunt characteristics. And two out of a cast of nine is not enough to make me care about their weekly antics. While the overall story about the Alliance is interesting, taken episode by episode, we just watch these merry bandits pulling one job or another. And the crew just comes across as such fabricated characters, it makes for a dull show. Had the series been about different characters in the same universe, it could have been more dynamic. I could really go on and on about the problems with Wash, Kaylie, Jane, Zoe, Shepard Book and Inara... But I will focus on Wash...

Wash and Zoe are both little more than half a character, put together in the hopes that we will find ourselves attached to this mismatched couple. Instead, they are awkward, and we are never given any reason why they are in love, we are just expected to accept it. The two have zero chemistry, and Wash is an annoying unfunny rip off of Xander from Buffy. I like that he has one of the strongest moral compasses in the group. But that only comes up when they are having group discussions about questionable morals, like a little light goes on, and suddenly Wash has to be indignant for a few minutes, before Mal making whatever decision he wants anyway. Whenever I bring up my distaste for Wash, fans bring up the episode "War Stories" in which his jealousy of the captain takes center stage. The episode is okay, I appreciate that they're developing the character. But the thing that sticks out in my mind is Wash, blindfolded, screaming and sticking his neck out like a dinosaur. Not even looking in the direction of the person he is speaking to, just shaking his head around like his blindfold is actually some virtual tennis match. Just.... bad acting.... And as for Zoe... Her character amounts to being a badass, and having a husband. And she carries a gun. She is basically a walking action figure with even less personality than her annoying husband.

Shepard Book and Inara are two characters who are just shallow. Book seems to have superglued his fingers together sometime before the series starts, and never has managed to separate them. His role is to deliver spiritually enigmatic, but still comforting words of wisdom while never separating his fingertips. Inara is a "Companion" who comes across like she is addicted to painkillers, rather than the spiritual Geisha she is supposed to be. The series really tries to integrate this spiritual element to it by including these characters, but (like so much about the show), it just ends up being shallow. We don't really see them pray or practice, beyond the Sheppard occasionally saying things like "The Lord has a path for all his children" or "The Lord has given me a flock to look after." If one is going to make spirituality such a strong theme in a series, there should be some thought put into it beyond how the characters look and behave... Something like... Oh, i dunno, what they believe?!

 

Finally there is Malcom Reynolds. Heralded as the ultimate "Beloved Rogue" character, he is mostly enjoyable to watch if not consistent. One minute he's badass to the bone, the next he's getting into petty arguments or exchanging quick witted dialogue with his scrappy crew. He seems to have a book of maybe 7 or 8 ways of behaving and switches between them all depending on who he's talking to. Which somewhat makes sense for the character, he's charming, knows how to sweet talk his way out of many a situation. Maybe it's because I don't have a vagina (since Nathan Fillion seems to have a direct line to women's lust), but I just don't particularly love him. I don't dislike him as much as most of the other characters, but he's not enough to hold the series together.

Similarly to how the characters are simple pairings of jobs and character traits, most elements of the show resonate with the same forced mix-and-match style. The most obvious one is the cowboy/space travel metaphor. The concept of space being the "final frontier" has been dealt with ever since science fiction entered the public mind. But the frontier part is taken far too literally in this series. They go so far as to have cities on outer planets that could be leftover sets from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. And I understand that these planets are poor and struggling for life, but there is too much throwback to cowboy times. For example, people ride horses. And I refuse to believe a horse (or multiple horses), which needs lodging, food and medical care, is more cost-efficient than whatever basic vehicles the future has to offer. They even have 19th century fashion, complete with women wearing bonnets. Seriously. Amish-style bonnets. I believe some aspects of historical fashion is completely viable as a futuristic throwback, like the duster Malcom wears. But bonnets will never come back into fashion. And everything is made of wood. Even the dinner table on the spaceship! Now, I'm no scientist, but if mankind fucked up earth SO bad that we had to leave and conform other planets to be like ours, I would guess that trees and wood would be an expensive commodity. All cheap things would be made of plastic, not this resource that has to be specially grown on an alien planet.

The other big theme of the show that resembles the slap-dash creating is the appropriation of Chinese culture. Throughout the series, there is a convergence of American and Chinese culture. Because America and China are the current world superpowers, the idea is they were the two countries to colonize other planets, thus bringing their cultures to merge together in outer space. And that logic holds up, as the series features Chinese language, writing, culture, except it's missing one critical thing.... THERE'S NOT A SINGLE ASIAN CHARACTER ON THE SHOW!!!! I spotted one bandit character who might be half Chinese, and one scene has some men demonstrating samurai swords in the background (which are Japanese). For a series that decided to use Chinese language and culture so much, it is just piss-poor planning to have NO Chinese people on the show. And the Chinese curses are only used when either nothing at all has to be said, or when the thing being said is so obvious that they could have said it in gibberish. It's a decision that has logic behind it, but it is used illogically to play up the theme. Like the cowboy/space thing, it's a conceptual metaphor that's solid, but used in excessive ways that feel forced.

The overall story about the Alliance and their efforts to control society are interesting, and I believe it's a story worth telling. River's story is the most intertwined with the Alliance, and it is a well put together arc. Had this world been explored without the crew of Serenity, it could have been a stronger series. Firefly features characters like Saffron, an identity-changing, planet-hopping thief with a talent for fooling men. And Early, a bounty hunter whose character has an intensity that is paired with an aloofness, all wrapped up in a sadistic bow, making him one of the most interesting cameo characters I've ever seen on T.V. If the show had focused on some of these people who are more hardened by the life they live, it would have felt more realistic.

All in all, I think the series had some good intentions, but got too bogged down in superficialities and styles. Sure, if the series had more time, it could have been better, but there still would have been Wash, and horse-drawn carriages, and bonnets, and Chinese cursing, and cute quips coming from people who have seen the very worst humans have to offer... but who still love a good ol' fashioned family-style dinner with the crew of Serenity. Ultimately, Firefly got what it deserved. The show could not have sustained itself for much longer without having to address some of the glaring plot and conceptual issues it faced. Firefly never needed another season, the story is worth telling (though hard to watch at times), and the film is a rewarding climax to the series. Although, maybe if there was a second season, we would have found out where all the Chinese people have been hiding. And then I could answer my dire question: Do Chinese people in space curse in English?